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I just wish you'd get with the program and start living from abundance instead of from scarcity and lack. Just keep making tea, and I promise once I can truely let go and mourn I'll be back with you changed but yours. I work too, and by my count you only earn about 0 more than me each week! your pots of tea are keeping me afloat and from destroying everything around me. Besides, there is ever increasing reasearch to show that there is a scientific basis for the law of attraction, reiki, energy healing, and the abundance mindset. Me, the woman who can clear a box of kleenex at a screening of a sappy movie, fights every single tear that tries to fall and when I do? Or are you too dead to feel anything besides your penis? You told me today my words were poison and I know you are right, I am drowning in it. I want to let go and to sob and to wail and grieve but for once I find it hard to let go. Since we have been growing in our relationship with God, our relationship together has been the best in a long time. In this time many people decide to give up or to cheat. I knew that I am meant to be with you and God would work out the rest. And then the big turnaround was you deciding to get closer to God also. Even if he had done everything right in a nice sized bed I would have felt the same. I love you sunshine buckle up buddy this ride ain't over yet, we've got a lot of years left to see what all those " what if's" turn out to be!!! I'm I the bad one for thinking that sex is an extremely important part of a marriage? If I would have known 16 years ago all the hell that would come our way after we said I do, would I say I do again? Simply because no one else has loved me as well as you, accepted me for the person I am flaws and all, and decided to hold my hand and walk beside me step for step. I come to bed every night hoping that tonight will be the night that you decide to have a moment of passion, and night after night I fall asleep wondering how much longer i can deal with this.

But I do work two jobs and have to come home and clean and cook you dinner! Just when I feel like we can't work any longer and you want to leave I won't let you. Yet I have to get a fucking Title pawn to pay rent. Even though you tell me I can do better than you (I honestly think I can) I don't want to. Even though you are two inches shorter than me and people say we are the odd couple I FUCKING LOVE YOU.As of March 2007, Hitwise ranked it number one (the number two and three position being occupied by Manhunt and similar competitors, Adam4Adam does not charge members to use its full range of services. I can afford to live by myself and take care of the boys. So what you’re not as affectionate as I’d like you to be. I don't know why you don't like me, but after four years of this, the feeling is mutual. I don't care that we're broke, I don't care that we're homebodies. Well, I wished I spread it all over your bed, under the sheet so you could have laid on it and have a bloody back, you asshole. One day, I will leave, just waiting for my bonus :) I won't give you a hint, you'll just see me and the boys gone. I told you to kiss me more, you can’t because it arouses you. I did it because you said "I don't know why you haven't made it already." I might go to a motel tonight. For four years I've been pretty much in hell every day.

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